Catching up

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

I'm inclined to think the drop in church attendance might have had an effect, but I'm not sure.

You might be right about that. I would elaborate further, but that's a discussion for another day.

It's kind of akin to the rise in school shootings,

Man, I'm thankful that we haven't ever had that happen here, and hopefully it won't ever happen. We knew kids that had guns, or at least access to guns, but thankfully they were mentally stable and didn't ever resort to such extreme measures.

We just knew that going to school and shooting the place up would be totally out of proportion to any offense we'd suffered there.

We have had conversations about that topic almost every time we heard about a school shooting on the news, and we always agree that the worst part about the shootings is the innocent people that get hurt during the incident. I don't condone the actions of somebody that kills people that didn't directly do anything to them. If you're going to kill somebody, then go kill the person/people that wronged you, not people that don't deserve it.

Regarding the behavior of people in our society, I've observed that most women today behave far worse than men, and they are more vicious, conceited, and territorial than men. I can't tell you how many times in my life I've been in a room with a group of women that act nice to each other face to face, but as soon as one of them leaves the room, the rest of them start talking behind her back, saying things like ... Can you believe the shoes that b*tch was wearing? I wouldn't be caught dead in those things. ... and ... Can you imagine being that fat? I mean, has she ever heard of the self control? ... and I once heard somebody say ... More men have had a turn with her than a turnstile at Grand Central Station ... implying that she was promiscuous.

Then when the woman returns to the room everybody is nice to her again, and when a different woman leaves they start talking about her, and this cycle of deceit continues. It's not always vicious, or hateful, sometimes it's just gossip, and sometimes they are marking their territory. I know a lot of the women personally that have been two-faced to the other women they converse with, including my mother, wife, and about 80% of our female employees. It just seems that women are more inclined to behave that way.

With guys it's different, if we have a issue with you we will confront you face to face about it, if we think you're a assh*le then we will tell you, we won't say it behind your back. That's how I handle somebody that I don't like, and most of the guys that I know are the same way.

On a semi-related note, today Phoebe placed first in her age group again at her gymnastics competition, so she won 3 straight competitions rounding out the summer series with a clean sweep, now she has to prepare for the upcoming fall competitions.

She likes to get compliments, and be congratulated when she wins her tournaments and competitions, if it's from her family, coaches and trainers, the people that promote the events, the fans, people at school, and almost everybody else, then she's very welcoming of their praise. That is, except for anybody that she competes against, or anybody that she considers to be competition.

After she won today, one of the older girls that also placed first there approached her, it seems like she was genuinely interested in getting to know Phoebe better, she congratulated her, and then, very nicely asked her how she did a specific move out there. Phoebe replied ... If you were a real gymnast, you wouldn't be asking me how to do it. ... and she walked away from her. The girl looked shocked that Phoebe talked to her that way. A few minutes later, the girl that placed second congratulated her, and Phoebe gave her a cold look and then walked away without saying anything. ... I guess that she was marking her territory.

[Murfreesboro]

I think you are right that men in general are far more straightforward than women.

I had to laugh when you described Phoebe's reaction to her competitors. I guess that's one way she psyches herself up, by treating them all as the enemy. I think it's too bad that she can't see any of them as potential friends, but then, I've never been an athlete and don't know squat about what it takes to win those competitions at a high level. Certainly she is to be congatulated for her remarkable string of achievements this summer.

[Andybev01]

Good point about nihilism and i'm pretty sure there's a good dose of narcissism in there, too.

Everybody is terrified of offending or insulting, even unintentionally, that they go out of their way to make sure they don't offend anybody, because they believe there's some sort of repercussion.

It's almost as if they took the golden rule and turned that inside out and twisted it up.

Hi, I adhere to the Peter Griffin code of human interaction When he said." you can kiss the fattest part of my a$$ ".

[Murfreesboro]

I recall, over 20 years ago, when I took a job for one year as a high school counselor for gifted kids. I was to meet with them in a specified conference room, which had posters and reminders of how people were supposed to behave toward each other. While I was waiting for the students, I read them. I remember reading one rule that said violence was strictly forbidden, but then it went on to say that "violence" could be a word or a facial expression (Iike rolling your eyes?). I thought it was very odd, conflating violence with any remark or expression that might be interpreted as offensive.

When my daughter was in college, the 2016 presidential election happened. It did not go as many people expected, apparently, and her college offered safe spaces for students who were upset about it. I thought that was odd, too. To my daughter's credit, so did she. I mean, how are we supposed to continue as a nation if we get so triggered every time the election doesn't favor our preferred candidate? I've lived long enough to see quite a few presidential elections come and go. I did not vote for the winners of all of them.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

During the gymnastics competition Phoebe was being interviewed and the woman asked her to comment about the other kids that were getting much lower scores compared to her, and asked why she thinks that the other girls weren't able to match her pace, and Phoebe replied ... It's simple ... It's survival of the fittest.

It's funny to think that a 9 year old already has that mentality in life, but you know what? She's absolutely right. I've watched how the younger people between 15-25 years old in our society are afraid to step up and go out there and attempt to achieve anything because they are afraid to fall on their a**, and if anything goes wrong they need to be coddled by somebody and have them hold their hand and walk them through it.

The other day I yelled at a employee that f*cked up, and most of the younger employees thought that I shouldn't have reacted that way, and I heard one of them say that I was mean. But that's fine, if most young people today are going to be weak minded fools that can't survive under pressure, then that means that the people with dominant personalities like Phoebe will run right over them, and they will be the people that make this Nation strong again.

[Murfreesboro]

You're right that people, especially the younger ones, really need to toughen up. Ultimately life teaches all of us that lesson, sooner or later. But we do the younger ones no favors by letting them fantasize that their personal feelings will always be spared and coddled.

I bet that employee you yelled at won't make the same mistake twice.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

That employee is a good kid, she just messes up frequently and I had enough that day. I'm always fair and give the employees a few chances to learn the right way, and I don't like to fire anybody unless it's absolutely necessary.

I've only had to fire 2 employees this year, the first was a guy in his early 20s, and that kid would hit on anything that walked though the doors with b**bs. It didn't matter if it was the female employees, or the customers, he would always come on to the women here, he even approached married women to hit on them. I pulled him aside and politely asked him to stop making the women here uncomfortable, and I told him that he shouldn't treat women that way, here or anywhere, and that his behavior reflects bad on our business. I gave him multiple chances, but he continued doing it so I had to fire him.

The other incident was a few months ago, she was a young girl in her 20s, and 2 customers went to pay her for their meal, the total was $22 and change, the 2 women gave her $25 and the stupid girl gave them back a $50 bill. The only reason we found out about it right away is because one of the other employees overheard the 2 women bragging before they walked out that the stupid girl at the register gave them $50 by accident. Of course, they weren't honest people, and they just walked out without telling her. So I asked the girl about it and she seemed genuinely unaware of what happened, it was fairly busy so I told her that we would discuss it later.

That night I totaled up the sales for the day, and went back and checked the overhead cameras above the register, and sure enough, there she was handing them $50, completely oblivious of what she just did. I talked with her the next day, and told her that I was deducting the $50, as well as the cost of the meal from her pay, and that I can't have incompetent people working here, and I fired her. I know that she was sorry about it, and she was crying because she liked working here and she wanted to stay, but that error is unacceptable in any place of business.

Those are just 2 examples of the type of stupid young people that I have to put up with. I can honestly tell you that only about 20% of them are hard working people that will achieve something for themselves, but the rest of them are like a bunch of overgrown kids, just drifting from day to day, waiting for somebody to do everything for them. There are some of my employees that are in their 20s that are afraid to, or don't want to learn how to drive, they either use Uber, the bus, or have their parents bring them to, and pick them up from work as if they are still kids. Seriously? How are they ever going to be responsible adults if they won't even be independent and do things for themselves? I mean, do their parents still tuck them in at night?

I don't know how our society got this stupid, weak, and pathetic. I mean, I understand that the kids of my generation grew up with sh*tty parents, and we swore that when we grew up that we wouldn't ever treat our kids the same way that we were treated, I get it, I said the same thing, and I have never once hit my kids because I know that there are ways to instill values, and decency into kids, and teach them to be responsible, productive members of society without resorting to physically disciplining them. But when it comes to the young people today, it seems like the outcome that their parents intended for them has gone drastically in the wrong direction, and has resulted in the opposite effect on them.

We now live in a world full of p*ssies that are incapable of coping with any criticism of their weakness, people that cry and need a personal day because somebody said something mean to them. These kids today are incapable of thinking for themselves, so they go on social media and follow and listen to absolute idiots tell them what to do, wear, eat, and think, and the stupidest kids will even put their lives at risk because they saw somebody else do something stupid or dangerous, and do it themselves because they seek validation and approval from anybody they can get it from.

I think the blame for this goes to the parents, they should care what their kids are exposed to, but most of them are more than happy to sit back and let other people and social media raise their kids for them.

My wife and I teach our kids the best that we can, and we prepare them to survive in this world, and that should be the main priority for every single parent out there. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I'll take care of my family and the people in my inner circle, and the rest of the world can burn.

[Murfreesboro]

That sounds like Voltaire's advice at the end of Candide--Let every man tend his own garden. Lucille Ball had a variant on it. She said that if everybody would just take care of the 5 or 6 people closest to him, the whole world would be a better place.

I don't know what's happened that young people cannot even make change. Lydia has noticed that some of the teenagers who work alongside her in the bookstore have that problem. That's not calculus or even algebra. It's just the most basic arithmetic, the type you can't really get through life without knowing. You have to be able to add, subtract, multiply, divide, and figure a percentage. Is this the consequence of letting kids use the calculators on their phones for every transaction?

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

The issue with this generation relying on technology is that they won't ever learn to think for themselves if every single answer is at their fingertips. They won't have a reason to retain the information because it will always be available to them, and eventually we will have a society full of people that are incapable of independent thought, and performing the simplest tasks. The thought that these people will be running this country when I'm old truly scares me, but I guess that every previous generation said the same thing, and look where we are now.

On a more positive note, Sam has been doing very well at the restaurant, and even though her summer position here is supposed to be done next week so that she can prepare to go back to school, she has already told me that she wants to continue working here with a after school job. I told her that we would let her try her new school schedule first, and if she can balance both work and school without it interfering with her studies, that I would let her do it. I tell you, I'm so damn proud of that kid.

By the way, did Karl enjoy his trip to Chicago?

[Murfreesboro]

Yes, thanks, Karl had a good time in Chicago. They went to a baseball game and a zoo and hung out on the beaches, went to restaurants and bookstores. Also the Museum of Science and Industry, which is about a 5 mins' walk from Colin's apartment. They saw the new Obama library from the outside but didn't pay to go in. Karl now says he'd like to go again, and perhaps Colin will be staying there longer. He's.been courted pretty assiduously this summer by an AI start up in San Francisco, but he doesn't seem completely enthusiastic about that, and now his lab group leader is feeling more confident about the funding, so maybe he'll be able to stay where he is for a while. I think he'd like that, since he really loves Chicago and its comparative proximity to us, even though I keep telling him he shouldn't make that latter point a priority.

Technology is such a double edged sword. It is neither good nor bad. It takes its moral value/significance from what we do with it. The AI thing out in San Fran is hoping to develop some kind of neurological interface that would enable paralyzed people to walk and move again. Since Colin's field of study is bio-math (the mathematics of the human body, to put it crudely), this kind of work is the sort of thing he's always wanted to do. But he has been having misgivings about what else people could do with an interface like that (I'd also wondered, but had said nothing to him). Since human beings are the mixed creatures we are, we will inevitably use our technologies for both noble and nefarious purposes. That's not the only reason he's hesitating, maybe not even the primary one. He's perhaps not getting the right vibes from the people who've been interviewing him. IDK. I guess time will tell.

[Murfreesboro]

Starting another post to comment on Sam. I think you are wise to suggest she should settle in to her new school before taking on the after school job, but I expect that eventually she'll do both. She may turn out to be your businesswoman, as it seems Phoebe could be Olympics-bound at some point. You have every right to be a proud dad of your accomished girls!

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

Thanks, Murf.

The position in San Francisco sounds like a great opportunity, but Colin's intuition about them is probably right. As they say, the first reaction is usually the correct one.

I know that he's happy being in Chicago, and with the possibility of his current position continuing, hopefully it will work out for him and he can stay there. Regardless of what happens, I'm sure that he will make the best decision for himself.

I think that it's great that your kids are still close to each other, and that they still love to hang out even if they have to travel to do it. I know that my kids aren't even teens yet, but I'm definitely not looking forward to the day when they leave the nest, and the unyielding worrying on my part that will accompany it.

On a side note, I didn't even know that there was a Obama library. Is it just me, or does it seem too soon to name something after him? I mean, the guy is still here.

Shifting the conversation slightly, I've still been slowly listing some of my collectibles for sale, and it's been going better than I expected.

Last night I was in the basement packing up some items for shipping, and Sam walked into the room where I was, my wife knows that I've been selling stuff, but I hadn't previously told the kids what I've been doing, so Sam thought that I was just going through the stuff at first. When I told her that I have been selling some things she had this shocked look on her face and exclaimed ... Why???

Before I could say anything she started panicking and said ... I thought that you love this stuff, why would you sell it? Do we need money, are we in trouble? Is this because you're sending us to that expensive school? Is this to pay for it? If you need money then you don't have to pay me to work, I'll do it for free, I still have the money that I made from work, you can have it back, but I don't want you to sell your stuff.

I admit that I wasn't expecting that reaction from her, I told her to calm down, and have a seat and I'll explain it to her. I said ... No, we aren't in any trouble, and you don't have to worry about money, we are doing well in that department. Yes, I do love these things, but I love you girls even more, and I bought these things a long time ago specifically to invest in because I knew that one day when I started a family that it would be for them.

I said that everything that I do is for them, so that they won't ever want or need for anything in this life, so that they won't ever go to bed without dinner, or sleep on the floor like I had to when I was a kid, and no matter what happens, they will always be secure, because I made some very smart investments over the years that will make sure of that.

I also explained that I was only selling certain things right now, and there are definitely some things that I don't know if I'll ever sell. Then she asked, then why are you selling it now? I told her there are a few reasons, one is because the market is hot right now, and it's a good time to make the maximum profit on some items, while it's better to wait on other items until the demand is there for them.

The other reason is because I don't want them or their mother to be burdened with the battle of having to sell these things when I'm gone, and it's better that I do it now while I'm still around so that I can get the most for them, and that way they won't get cheated when I'm gone, and I can make sure that I put the funds aside for them.

Then she said something else that I wasn't expecting ... I thought that I was going to get this stuff one day. I paused for a moment and said ... I didn't know that you wanted any of this stuff, is there anything specific that you want for yourself? Her face lit up and she enthusiastically said ... Yeah! There's a bunch of things that I want, mostly your movie stuff, and some of your scary figures.

I had a huge smile on my face when she said that, I knew that she liked that stuff, but I just thought that it was a kid's typical temporary fascination with them, but knowing that she legitimately wants it for herself made me so happy. I told her that the next time I come down to the basement that she could come along and we could start going through things and she could start picking out some of the things that she's interested in. I also told her that she could help me to pick out things to sell, and that I would start teaching her about the collectibles market.

I can't even begin to tell you how much that moment meant to me, not just because I now know that she might be as passionate about this stuff as I am, but also because she once again showed me the type of person she is, and how she has a heart of gold. When she thought that we might be in a tough situation, even at this age she was willing to make a personal sacrifice for her family. She's definitely growing up to be a better person than I could have hoped for.